The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

... I had this crazy deam last night about swimming in the Niagara River, from shore-to-shore, pulling a rope that someone was trying to catch fish with...



Fully clothed, and trying to empty my pockets of my cell phone, camera, wallet... before everything got ruined.



Good thing for that rope... I doubt I could swim well enough to actually traverse that river...

Rule #9:



When traveling, having to use public toilets is always a looming threat.



Always check to make sure there is paper in the stall and it is clean before sitting.



If provided, ALWAYS use the ass-gasket.



If not provided, create your own out of toilet paper.



Trust me on those.

Rule #548:



You haven't been "on the road" until you wake up with pieces of asphalt stuck to your face.



Rule #312:



No matter how good or bad a meal is, it always tastes better when you know you've paid way too much for it.



Rule #994:



Revolving restaurants will give you sea-legs.



Rule #3:



Eating alone is often necessary, but getting together with good company for a meal is priceless.



Rule #29:



No, sitting next to a window won't make a plane crash scarier or more fatal.

...tonight is one of those nights I feel like.. something... is just.. eluding me.



Just out of reach.



Something I need. I desperately need.



I thought maybe it was rum.. That wasn't it.



I actually know what it is. And unfortunately it feels like it will be forever out of reach most days. Then some days... it's right there. And I can touch it. I can taste it! It surrounds me and I bask in it.



It overwhelms me to the point of speechlessness.



Then.. it's gone. Again.



And I begin longing for it even more.



Each time it's gone... I want it more.



The frustration is mounting. Despite the fact I know how close I am to having it again... the frustration of the wanting... the needing...



I ask myself how much longer can I go on like this? How much more can I take?



But then I remember the power of it. My heart quickens and soars! Every nerve in my body stands on end!



And I answer myself...



...as long as I can breathe and desire... I can go on.



Just give me... a little more to see me through.



I know if I have that.. someday.. I can end the waiting.

Rule #729:



You can't say you've really had fun until someone has been spanked with the bible.